CRUCIAL CONFLICT
west coast v east coast is a snap (as in easy) decision for anyone from the west coast. Who would be tempted to move back east? Wanna-be NYers? People desperate to taste the smog of Atlanta? It's hard to think about moving back; my perch here is so surreally perfect, though utterly lacking of substance. Empty days, but they sure are pretty. It's hard to keep in touch with fellow ESTers. That time zone thing kills you every time. Its much easier for the EST to call the PST, cuz there's a great chance the Calians will be awake. Tho the same cannot be attributed to the ESTers, unless you're calling your very special friend Anundo who is a guaranteed party til dawn kinda girl. None of my friends remember me anymore. I can barely see the traces of their outlines on my memory. 'Bout 5 mins ago I was struck by the get-in-touch bug, but it was shot down quickly. Don't have much going on here, nothing to say. I spose all you really have to do is make the effort and the rest flows in, but hell it's hard. So this here blog is proof that yes, I am thinking about yall. I miss you on some huge secret level, but my day-to-days are smooth without you.
Did you really expect me to list you out? It would be too small a list, and you might snigger. Egad.
posted by Say It Loud at 6:36 PM
MOVIE OF THE WEEK: GEORGE WASHINGTON
saw a great movie last night- George Washington. I thought it was an excellent portrayal of life in the South, where people tell long drawn out hilarious stories with little point to them, black & white interact without conflict, trains pass by weeded empty fields. Plus the acting was superb, and Mike Chapman did the artwork. For a hilarious jolt to your day, check out his homestarrunner.com site. If you're looking for pure unadulterated laughs, check out the pseduo website his brother put together, thoraxcorp.com. Ok, I'm out.
posted by Say It Loud at 11:56 AM
SUPER BOWLS.
last year & year before that I barely noticed the juego de futbol in late january. Today was not only looked forward to, but planned for. Does that mean my life is draining itself of essential energy and taking up sports to fill the void? After tomorrow it's college bball until baseball starts. Speaking of, the Duke v Maryland game of yesterday was truly amazing. Down 12 points with 1 minute and 15 secs, Jason Williams takes it to the hoop and they're down 10. Then 54 secs left, down 10, Duke manages to have possession of the ball 5 times in a row it seemed. Tied it up, went to OT and because Blake & Morris fouled out, Dukies went on to victory.
posted by Say It Loud at 4:34 PM
NEW THOUGHT
you don't know me and i will never care enough to show you who i was.
posted by Say It Loud at 7:51 PM
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE:
LOOKING DOWN 2400 FEET AND THINKING
External:
cold Internal:
cold It’s difficult to keep my eyes open. I am shrinking into the background. Sad is cold. & definitely wet. The sting of dried eyes. Half thoughts and their utter uselessness. Why am I the object of my own torment. My insides hurt. My outsides hurt. How can my bruises not be apparent; who would care if they were. Series of questions. Painful interactions. No thoughts of intercourse except revulsion. No spot in my memory of late to which I can turn for hope. Only cringes over the portions I serve up. Handfuls of non conversations. Horrified at the reaction of people to me. My strange mirroring skills. Chameleon I am. Shock, and no ability to express my reaction to my own self. Is there such a thing as self-rejection. Could I out the person I hate and insert my own character. What is my character. To have something to reach for at a dark moment. To be in Paris.
posted by Say It Loud at 4:38 PM 
