nothing good. nothing fresh. i promise. since January 2001

LETTERS FROM REHAB: BACKSTREET STYLE

semi-funny fictitious letters from AJ on modernhumorist. "Remember how in Orlando we’d hang out in the fake alleyway behind the fake convenience store and smoke fake cigarettes? I’ll never forget those fabricated times. They’ll always give me ersatz strength, so that just when I think I’ve seen the darkest virtual night, I’ll know in the back of my mind that a studio-created dawn is on its way. Also, I’m working on a piece for The New Republic on the dangerous illusion of campaign finance reform. I submit that the very belief that it will help save American democracy is itself indicative of the sad state of American democracy. The institution must be revitalized by the people, from the ground up, not through some procedural patch. Draft enclosed: Can you mark it up, Backstreet-style, and send me comments?"
posted by Say It Loud at 12:08 PM

GAMES GAMES GAMES

cool lego game.

and 3-D Pong. both very addictive, very fun, & both require shockwave.
posted by Say It Loud at 2:51 PM

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL THEM THE "GOLD RUSH" IS OVER...

they also seem to be clueless that less is more in terms of domain names: "Until recently, domain names were limited to just 26 characters - but the rules have changed and we have the inside track... Here are some of the names we purchased for ourselves (with and without dashes): Website-Marketing-and-Design.com, WebsiteDesignandMarketing.com, Internet-Business-Development.com, Website-Optimization-and Promotion.com, Website-Promotion-and-Optimization.com, Website-Marketing-and-Promotion.com"

um, good luck with that, web doctor! (link from mefi)

posted by Say It Loud at 11:18 AM

WHAT GRUBWORMS WOMEN ARE TO CRAWL ON THEIR BELLIES THROUGH COLORLESS MARRIAGES

"F. Scott Fitzgerald stole Zelda's ideas, plagiarized her diaries and even pushed her into an affair. He was arguably the worst husband of his generation -- and that made him its best author..." sez Salon.
posted by Say It Loud at 4:56 PM

INTERACTIVE MANHATTAN

this site is so cool. you can see where on the island office buildings were built over the last century, plus maps of landfill, subway, parks, the city grid in 1811... The perspectival fly-through is also neato.
posted by Say It Loud at 4:50 PM

WHAT THE FUCK?

trying to quit smoking? looking for an alternative source of nicotine without the tar & smoke? no, not the patch, NICOTINE WATER. 69 cents a bottle for brownish water. "Great for gyms, spas, coffee houses, bars, hotels and restaurants."

the next generation of reality television: "For the first time in history a television show will take you to a place where even the Gods themselves fear to tread...a place where some of the most clever criminals in the world will compete against the best trained Manhunters on earth for the only thing that really matters...redemption." 12 convicted felons will try to elude professional manhunters as they compete for $1 million... only the money goes to the winner's last victim. Wasn't this a short story called The Most Dangerous Game?
posted by Say It Loud at 11:24 AM

I'VE GOT A BEEF ABOUT MCDONALDS FRIES

yes, there is beef in your mcdonalds fries! 10 years of vegetarianism and i've been eating beef-flavored fries the whole time. compare this to in-n-out's recipe:

In-N-Out Potatoes + vegetable oil

vs.

McDonalds Potatoes, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, natural flavor (beef source), dextrose, sodium acid pyrophosphate (to preserve natural color). Cooked in partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, (may contain partially hydrogenated soybean oil and/or partially hydrogenated corn oil and/or partially hydrogenated canola oil and/or cottonseed oil and/or sunflower oil and/or corn oil). TBHQ and citric acid added to help preserve freshness. Dimethylpolysiloxane added as an anti-foaming agent.

Anti-foaming agent? i prefer my fries foamy, thank you.

posted by Say It Loud at 10:05 AM

GAMES

water balloon drop from the Golden Gate bridge- watch out for pigeons, cops, & old ladies!
posted by Say It Loud at 4:42 PM

MORE ESCAPISM

i just picked up two wonderful books and have been reading them both all evening. The collected stories of Richard Yates is the best collection of short stories i've ever read. Fast Food Nation, while interesting, is toeing the line between being a seriously academic work and one of light marshmallow fluff. i don't like that combination. Maybe it'll get better. But i normally like my academics straight up, smothered in footnotes (or endnotes, or just plain citations!!!), and i like my fluff just plain airy and delicious.

addendum: i take it back- fast food nation is thoroughly researched and endnoted. i was just too lazy to look for the notes. and the fluff is only to break up the tedium. it's good stuff.
posted by Say It Loud at 10:50 PM

GHOST WORLD

what an awesome movie. it'd have to rank it #2 movie of the year, behind Momento. Freakin hilarious.
posted by Say It Loud at 1:43 PM

INFLATED REAL ESTATE BRINGS DOWN MANY A DOT COM

good Industry Standard article on the folly of renting space during San Fran's heyday at $100 a square foot, signing a 15 year lease and having no viable business plan. hee hee, that's what's contributed to my own dot com tanking. in fact, i heard today that we've stopped paying rent on one of our ridiculously expensive properties (supposedly $100grand a month) that's lain empty since April.

had lunch today in the park with one of my unemployed friends and a few friends who still have jobs at my company. we were all tearing into the obvious mistakes our parent company made to send us draining down the tubes towards impending bankrupcy. I guess we were pretty loud, because a tall TV talk-show type guy walked up and asked if we wanted to get interviewed about the dot com bust. We all begged off because most of us had to get back to our overworked desks, but as we were leaving i noticed a group of 20ish guys getting idiotic soundbytes recorded for the camera. "Things were getting crazy in this city, and now it's calmed down quite a bit..." Now that I think about it, they probably approached us first b/c we were a group of guys AND girls, and my friend Michelle happens to be HOT. Much better for the camera than the usual male techie slacker stereotype in t-shirt & jeans.
posted by Say It Loud at 2:50 PM

QA CONFIDENTIAL

i work in the QA department, so I found this link absolutely hilarious. I think the strange and wonderful antics of the plastic figurines will give anyone a case of the giggles, tho. (link shamelsesly pilfered from BoinGboinG)
posted by Say It Loud at 3:08 PM

BOOKS

i finished Thinks... by David Lodge last night, and i can't say that i agree with the hype and numerous recommendations for this book. Parts of it were intriguing, but i'm never a big fan of any book that ends with giving a paragraph to each character to tell what became of them. The ending was trite drivel, and I expected as much as soon as Helen gave in to Ralph's advances. The sexual tension kept the story buoyant, and once it was gone the plot fizzled out disappointingly.

Manhattan Transfer, on the other hand, may be the best book I've read all year. It was my first foray into Dos Passos-land, and I'm prepared to fully gorge myself with all his works now.

Other recently finished recommendations: Sweet Thursday, & My Year of Meats.

I'm now reading The Sleepwalkers by Hermann Broch, which is so far excellent.
posted by Say It Loud at 10:35 AM

REGRETTABLE FOOD

hilarious old cookbooks scanned and panned for your laughing pleasure. How to Make Crap Past 10pm. There's some really funny stuff in these.

also, the very fun game of WordBall! (seems to only work in Netscape)

(links courtesy reddwarf)

posted by Say It Loud at 2:31 PM

BITCHIN 'BOUT THE BOSS

on friday i had lunch with some friends at a mexican place downtown. it being friday, we all ordered drinks and had a fine time chowing down and goofing off. an hour later i return to my desk and am accosted by my manager, victor. victor is a malaysian immigrant whose english is pretty good but it's hard as hell to understand what point he's trying to make. he comes up and says in a whispery voice, "the company doesn't pay for lunch." i'm somewhat taken aback, since it's a state law that yes, the company does indeed pay for lunch time. after much prodding i finally get him to state what the hell he's talking about. apparently when i left for lunch, so did the three chinese-american ladies in my department, leaving our dept "out to lunch." and an 'emergency' came up, where victor needed immediate support. instead of walking upstairs to get any of the three ladies (who always eat upstairs in the kitchen), he waited until i came back (i was the first one back, meaning i took the shortest lunch...) to accost me and say that if i'm going to be longer than 1/2 an hour i need to tell him. none of the asian lasses got chastized. of course i'm not surprised by his favoritism, since it's been evident since day 1. but i like to think that he feels threatened by me and this is why he lashes out in my direction. prick.
posted by Say It Loud at 12:18 PM

YEAR OF THE SNAKE

i know the chinese new year has already been celebrated, so i'm at a loss to explain why there was a parade of drum-banging cymbal-clanging youths and dancers covered by silk lions popping firecrackers at all the chinese business on my block. The group had two trucks loaded with drums and drummers, with a large red and white flag fluttering alongside. The two lions danced their way into the Chinese restaurant, the hair salon, the Chinese meat market, but conspiciously skipped Natori, the Japanese restaurant wedged in between two of these. I was reading upstairs with my cat curled up beside me when the clanging started, so I went out on the roof and enjoyed the show. The lions dance outside the business, pop firecrackers, sniff the edges of the door, then dance inside for a few minutes before retreating. Entertaining, but still- it's August!
posted by Say It Loud at 2:12 PM

WHY WOULD YOU READ FRIDAY'S PAPER ON A TUESDAY?

i glanced up on the bus to scan the headlines of what i thought was this morning's paper, only to find the elderly gent was reading last Friday's paper. Now that's just plain confusing. Especially since I woke up not knowing what day it was and praying it was Friday.
posted by Say It Loud at 10:50 AM

STUPID IS AS STUPID QUOTES BAD MOVIES

computer tech phone calls. including a man whose diskette got stuck in his A: drive so he poured butter in the drive and used pliers to pry it out.
posted by Say It Loud at 12:53 PM

RENTER'S LAMENT

i want to buy a house. why is it so hard to own a house in the city?
posted by Say It Loud at 12:33 PM

EVER WONDER WHAT A TOTAL STRANGER ATE TODAY?

it may be the fact that I've been at work for 14 hours straight, but this site is mildly interesting.
posted by Say It Loud at 9:56 PM

PAYPHONES

payphones are a sign of a kinder, gentler, cell-phone-free time; but their days may be limited. This site is dedicated to pay phones, listing numbers along with pictures so you can prank call the Vatican's pay phone, ring up the payphone outside a Long Island Blockbuster, or call the payphone outside a Utah bus stop. Fun fun fun!!! (link via metafilter)
posted by Say It Loud at 10:29 AM

PHYSICS ON THE WEB

this stuff is too cool. (via BOInGBOInG) I like the pendulum in particular.
posted by Say It Loud at 9:48 AM