nothing good. nothing fresh. i promise. since January 2001

ASHCROFT SPENDS 8 LARGE TO COVER NIPPLES

Mark Morford's take on Ashcroft's decision to drop 8k on velvet drapes that will cover the partially nude statues that have been in the Dept. of Justice since 1930s.
posted by Say It Loud at 6:38 PM

LEGOS + WHITE STRIPES MUSIC = GLORIOUS STUFF

oh my god. Quicktime video of lego animated White Stripes video. Fabulous.
posted by Say It Loud at 7:50 PM

YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF AWFULNESS OF MEN

sent over to provide maintenance on military aircraft in Bosnia, these dudes boozed it up on the job, raped and sold 14 year old girls to each other... on video. brilliant boys, brilliant.
posted by Say It Loud at 2:08 PM

FAN SITE DEDICATED TO CARTOON THAT NEVER EXISTED

"The Adventures of Li'l Bill and Hil and Friends" is a cartoon about the Clintons & their friends that ran for 8 seasons, or not. Delirious fan site complete with FAQ, Character explanation, episode summaries, etc. Socks the flying cat and his most memorable line "¿Eso sí qué es?" (via boingboing)

posted by Say It Loud at 1:31 PM

MORE ON THE PRETZEL

Jim Higgins' brainchild:

Devil's Pretzel (in my mouth)
to the tune of Beck's 'Devil's Haircut'

Something's wrong 'cause my windpipe's closing
chest feels like it's near exploding
earphoned bully boys walking other places
Spot & Barney staring, Nipper faces

Gutless Dolphins offense self-destructing
My throat in need of reconstructing
Vasovagal SYN-co-pea, unfurled
bringing down the boss of the free world

Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth

Cheney safehoused underground bunkers
Osama stalking Special Ops spelunkers
Ashcroft haunting swarthy students and doctors
Enron stooges cleaning out their lockers

Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth

Panic button reaching, flailing finger
Craving one humongous brandy stinger
No spores in here, not one iota
Hold on! This came from South Dakota!

Got Tom Daschle's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth
Got a Devil's Pretzel in my mouth

Devil's Pretzel! In My Mouth!
Daschle's Pretzel! In My Mouth!
Devil's Pretzel! In My Mouth!


GLORIOUS SITE DETAILING BUSH SCANDALS

ethics violations, broken campaign promises, and everything you need to know about Enrongate.
posted by Say It Loud at 1:09 PM

CHENEY WAS PRESIDENT FOR LIKE, 2 SECONDS.

pretty scary. here's some comments from a mailing list I'm not even on (via snarkeymalarkey):
"Bushie should ask Monica how to swallow without choking."
"Sounds like another example of One tequila Two tequila Three tequila Floor."
"Dick Cheney - a pretzel away from the presidency."
"Given the size and location of W's bruise, it makes me want to see if Cheney has a black eye. Fisticuffs in the Oval Office?"
"Nope, Cheney has bite marks on his ankles."
posted by Say It Loud at 3:40 PM

WHAT PRE 1985 VIDEO CHARACTER AM I?

I am a Breakout Bat. I am an abstract sort of creature, who dislikes any sort of restraint. If you try to pigeonhole me, I'll break the box, and come back for more. I don't have any particular ambitions, I just drift, but I am adept at keeping life going along. What Video Game Character Are You?

posted by Say It Loud at 3:20 PM

THE STRANGE AND BENDY WAYS OF LEISURETOWN

quirky site with cursing bendy-figures. i particularly like the MANAGE YOUR WEB DOLLARS column, which has nothing to do with web dollars and everything to do with the bendy-rabbit-figure losing his ATM card. and QA CONFIDENTIAL is hilarious, 90 pages long, and i've linked it before, but it still makes me cry with laughter every time.
posted by Say It Loud at 3:11 PM

WHAT TIME IS IT?

coolest internet clock ever.
posted by Say It Loud at 2:10 PM

SEMIOTICS OF SMOKING

"For any englightened, right-minded gent with an ounce of 'common' in his noddle there can be only one reliable way to judge one's fellow man and that is by the semiotics of smoking. A chap with cigarette, cigar, or pipe in hand, when keenly observed, will within a matter of minutes unwittingly divulge not only his social status and current state of mind but also vital information about temperament, reliability, employability, marital status, sexual proclivities and prowess, family background and literary tastes." Complete with hilarious illustrations.
posted by Say It Loud at 10:14 AM

MARIAH CAREY MAIL BAG

found stacked on a Manhattan curb, thesmokinggun.com scanned and posted the most entertaining of these fan mails/pics.

posted by Say It Loud at 4:41 PM

MUSEUM OF HOAXES

need i say more?
posted by Say It Loud at 4:33 PM

GOOF: FUN WITH POST-ITS

this happened a long long time ago (in internet terms), but i just saw it today, so i'm linkin this bad boy. Crazy guy posts post-it notes and pen for passersby to pen their thoughts on Starbucks.
posted by Say It Loud at 3:30 PM

YAWN:

"President Bush has appointed a former aide to the American oil company Unocal, Afghan-born Zalmay Khalilzad, as special envoy to Afghanistan." anyone surprised by this?
posted by Say It Loud at 2:54 PM

This is an mp3 recording of Dubya responding to the gwbush.com website. He actually says
"There ought to be limits to freedom." G.W. Bush May 21, 1999

posted by Say It Loud at 3:26 PM

HOUSE PARTIES: HOLLYWOOD VS. REALITY

Are house parties not as good as you imagined? Blame teen movies.

Hollywood: plenty of sex on the double bed
Reality: plenty of coats on the double bed

Hollywood: stoner girl with glasses turns out to be a 'fox'
Reality: stoner girl with glasses gets more stoned

posted by Say It Loud at 12:08 PM

HMMM... TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE "CURRENT SITUATION" FOR A LITTLE PUBLICITY?

here's the deal: there's a convenience store at the corner of 3rd & Balboa, mere steps from my house. On one of its walls is a mural depicting wine & beer, neither of which are for sale inside the store. For spirits you must walk another block and a half up Balboa St. After the first disappointing mission for alcohol, I learned to take the extra walk up the street for "juice." But then I tried to buy salsa at the corner store. And my choice(s?) was limited to one can of unrecognizable salsa whose label had faded from standing on the shelf for so long. Then I stopped in for a cold drink on a hot day. None of the drinks in the refrigerated section were cold because the refrigerators were/are unplugged except for the milk section. Also, the store keeps odd hours; it's more likely to be closed than open at any random time. Not exactly a CONVENIENCE store.

Now this article appears in sfgate about how the owner is Muslim and has been harrassed by people throwing bricks through his window since Sept 11. And while I am disappointed in my neighbors for such idiocy, I don't like the way the article blames the atmosphere of post-September for the decline of his store. He's trying to sell the store and move back to Jordan, and he played up the attacks to get some publicity. Here's the article.

The article informed me of the owner's sleeping arrangements in the back of his store, and this saddens me enough that I will try to go find something to buy there soon. But the broken window that is such a heartbreaker in the news story was fixed three weeks ago. The story published on Saturday. And maybe this is why the store is closed all the time?
posted by Say It Loud at 5:15 PM

THE SPAM LETTERS

one dude's hilarious idea to respond to spammers. he posts all the spam and responses on his site. they're all pretty funny, but you can try this and this on for size then wander around. (i really like the nigerian scams myself)
posted by Say It Loud at 2:17 PM